I was in the 11th grade when I participated in the FLEX program, this was my second attempt. When I was in the last round and I already thought that I was going to the USA, I got rejected. It was very painful for me and, even today, when I talk about FLEX and my unfulfilled American dream, it’s very difficult, but this story changed my future – I no longer fear failure and if something interesting appears, I always try my luck. Therefore, I also got interested in social media and web programming training. I also had previous experience with the Innovative Education Foundation and I was sure that would be a huge source of experience for me.

Before I left for Lisbon, I saw that Google was launching a project for developer students across Europe to promote “Google Developers’’ Products and introduce new technologies to students. Those who already have some knowledge in this field will be able to learn more, while those who don’t – will get a better chance to make a choice for the technology field. Even though it seemed unrealistic to me, I went through the interview and I was chosen. Within this project, I was in Paris, at the European Summit of the Student Club of Developers, and that’s where I finally decided that I should be a woman in technology. When the project was over, I decided that Kutatisi needed ”GDG Kutaisi” – the Google developers’ team, and I created it. We have only managed a few events. I was planning to conduct a technology festival in Kutaisi, I submitted this project at the university, I also wrote to Google, I solved all the organizational issues, but due to the pandemic, we had to stop. When all of this is over, I’ll definitely do it. Google later started the mentors’ project and I was chosen as a mentor to help new leaders.

I believe that I feel most comfortable in the programming field and I’m going to enroll in the Institute of Business and Technology. They say that programming doesn’t require a diploma, but I want to go through all the stages. I already know how being a student should feel like; in addition to the knowledge I want to gain, I also want to take advantage of all the benefits of being a student – participate in different projects or in researches.

I’m now in my fourth year at the university, I work here in student services, plan and implement projects, offer ideas, etc. In the future, I also plan to start a business, but only after I return to Akhaltsikhe. During school, I was heartbroken that in Akhaltsikhe there wasn’t any school similar to ”Komarov”, which specialized in physics-mathematics and computer science. So, I really want such a school to be here – there are many children in Akhaltsikhe who are good at math and we really need it. I’m planning to start a business in my village – more and more people are leaving and I want to lend a hand to people to have jobs. In general, I plan to live in the village, but I also have plans for the city: I want to be a part of improving the educational field – maybe I can’t create a new one, but I know what I’d implement. After returning to my region, I’ll work as a programmer but only as a freelancer. I want to create free programming learning groups in Akhaltsikhe. I especially want to help women because stereotypes await women everywhere and in the regions – even more. I know it requires a lot of work, but nothing is immutable.’’

The post Tamta Kapanadze, 20 years old, village Tkemlana, Akhaltsikhe Municipality appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

”I was 33 years old when my husband and I got married. This is the age for a woman when everybody asks why you’re still not married. The most annoying question I remember was when they asked if I had any problems and that was why I wasn’t married. And they didn’t even wait for my answer – they just started spouting advice about how starting a family is a must. I remember it was so disturbing that I stopped attending any family events. I felt such a big pressure on me that I would never ask anyone such a question. Still, marriage brings with it so many issues that you have to be absolutely sure before making this decision. It is a big change and if you don’t choose the right person, life can quickly become hell. Therefore, I think that even if the pressure is sometimes too high, when not sure it’s the right decision, women shouldn’t make it.

My husband and I were expecting a baby for 7 years. If we hadn’t had a desire to be together and a common goal, we wouldn’t make it as a couple, let alone as parents. In addition to the reproductive problems we had, the most difficult part was the pressure from society. Even though I fought all the time to isolate myself from people and hadn’t let them invade our privacy, people could still put us under stress and ask endless questions about why we didn’t have a child, whose fault was it, etc., which made our life even more difficult. Such pressure causes psychological problems; it makes you think that since you don’t have a child, you’re not even alive. I know it’s wrong, but back then it was a very emotional issue for me. Persistent questions and stares on the belly all the time… I think it was the most difficult period in my life.

I don’t know exactly what my husband has been told about it. Perhaps some told him that he should divorce me. It’s a known stereotype that a man should leave a woman who doesn’t bear a child in 2-3 years. As if a woman is only good for giving birth to children. If I ever saw my husband hesitate at some point, I would definitely end our relationship. But he endured everything with honor.

Even though I was having very serious psychological problems, I would blame myself and felt guilty for my husband and his family. The feeling of guilt was so big, that after 4-5 years I suggested to my husband that maybe we would divorce so that he could have children with another woman, or find another way to have children. Seeing how much he wanted to become a father only added to the enormous responsibility and stress. So sometimes I really wanted to live without that feeling. Another person towards whom I felt guilty and feared not to see her real emotions was my mother-in-law, because I knew I couldn’t handle it. But this woman, in contrast to other people, was very dignified and in all these years, she never made me feel bad about it, which was a great motivation for me.

In short, I had a long and hard road ahead before my pregnancy. My husband and his family stood by my side all the time. Also, large financial resources were needed for the treatment and it consumed all of my income. I counted that I paid over 60 000 GEL for it. This is a very expensive treatment, which is not fully financed by the government and neither does private insurance cover anything related to reproductive health.

One day I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. After that, my life regained meaning and even those seven years of living in black and white turned colorful in one day. Later we found another miracle – we were expecting twins. After the pregnancy, there was another round of pressure and questions began – was it artificial insemination or not, would the children turn out different, and so on. A woman has to protect her children at every stage – even before birth because people don’t know where to draw the line between there and other people’s private lives.

I thought about my children’s sense of freedom from the very beginning. For example, I saw with my own eyes how two different people appeared from my body. One of them was a boy and the other – a girl. I’m aware that it’s my duty to ensure they become free and healthy people and get an education. The rest is their decision – whether they’ll dress ”like a girl” or ”like a boy”. The girl can choose between loving pink and lipstick and preferring to play football. I myself was never the one who played ”girly games” and if my parent prohibited doing such things, I would never become the free and strong person I am now, and I wouldn’t be myself. Then, in the 90s, I got involved in politics, which wasn’t women’s job either. I was in Zhvania’s team, meaning in opposition of incumbent Shevardnadze; and people were scared. So we always held our meetings late at night. I was 23-24 years old back then; my aunt cried a lot, saying I could never get married since I sat in many different cars late at night. If not for the trust and support of my family, I wouldn’t come this far. Then my husband took on supporting me, so I didn’t need to change my lifestyle after getting married – sometimes I was on training, sometimes on meetings. My husband would often joke that he had no idea he was marrying a tourist. My children also see a different reality at home. For example, I’m not the traditional woman or wife as known by society, and I’m not greeting my guests with an apron. My husband and I divide the chores between us and have been raising our children together from the time they were babies. Since we had twins we had to wake up together – one took care of one baby and another of the other. This happened without any agreement. I’ve left my children for a whole week with my brother and my husband. I feel comfortable with it and I’m not worried since I’m sure they’ll take good care of them. Also, I know that it is the right thing to do since I always wanted both children and a career. Of course, I may sometimes have to cook seven different dishes for my family, but it’s not my formal obligation and I don’t want it to become one. I’ve ironed my husband’s pants when he was in a hurry and he did the same for me… It’s nonsense to have separated duties – ”woman’s work” and ”man’s work”. If a man makes Khashlama and Chakafuli (Georgian traditional dishes) for the whole village, why should it be a shame to make Borshi for their own children? I don’t understand.

I want my girl to be very strong and to know exactly what she wants. There’s much psychological pressure on little girls and sometimes we cause their personalities to die in childhood. I also have to fight against stereotypes in my own head, because they’re so strongly engraved in us that we may not even realize it. Motherhood is a whole other dimension and we’re always trying to create greenhouse conditions for our children. To be honest, I often think if I’d like a wife like me for my child, and, as a mother, I start thinking differently – I don’t want him to wash dishes or do household chores, but when I do, I stop myself right away because it’s not right. Parents shouldn’t forget that we went through the same road that our kids are now walking.”

Author: Ida Bakhturidze
Photo: Salome Tsopurashvili
Translation: Mariam Kajrishvili

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I was assigned a headmaster of Tsaghveri School three years ago. Before that, I’d worked as a biology teacher.

Having thought I have some leadership skills, I decided to try myself in this area. First, I passed teachers’ certification exam and became a senior teacher.

It was not enough for me though. I had a feeling I could do more than that, that I’ve had much more potential. I thought, having had skills, will and opportunity, why not try myself in another area? I started preparation again and passed headmasters’ exam. There you need to be familiar with lots of laws, leadership skills, and management which is fascinating yet a very busy work in many ways. Apart from being a capable manager, you have to be an expert in psychology while interacting with staff, teachers, children and their parents which is quite tough and responsible job. I believe some are born to be teachers. Leadership skills are also inborn… You may pass an exam yet be incapable of delivering your knowledge to your students. You may pass an exam yet be incapable of delivering your knowledge to your students. It requires ability you either possess or not; If you have it, you should be developing it as there’s always a chance to make mistakes and mistakes and incompetence are unacceptable. However, if you made a mistake anyway, you must be capable of admitting and analyzing it for not to repeat it and move forward. I consider that ability to recognize and learn from my mistakes my strength. I’m not definitely perfect, but I am quite satisfied with my work results.

By the time I was assigned a headmaster, there were unenviable conditions and decrepit infrastructure in the school. With a toilet outside and the only tap, they were trying to keep hygiene as much as they could in those poor conditions. Despite low wages, school cleaners somehow would manage to keep this place clean.
There was a lack of motivation amongst teachers too. They were less focused on professional development which I reckoned was affecting pupils’ accomplishments and it didn’t seem good to me at all as my vision was the school to become competitive and make its niche in an education system. I started with identifying weaknesses. The solution I thought of was improving and updating professional competencies. I involved excellent professionals, who nurtured a lot of esteemed people, into many training projects. Together with them, I also became purposefully and intensely engaged in the training activities. Advancement and outcome are guaranteed when you’re working on yourself every day. I assumed that something new could’ve been built on higher education and fundamental knowledge of our teachers; Fresh approach, new vision, student-oriented academic process planning – all these I reckon a precondition for the growth of motivation and results.

I don’t like an unfinished business either at home or at school. It’s not easy to combine family life with headmaster’s responsibilities, but I manage it. I come home at 6 pm and handle housework equally well.
I was very young, 18 years old girl when I got married. I used to study at the university where attendance was required. 90s’ wars came almost simultaneously bringing numerous problems along. But we managed to survive them…

I respect responsibility, quality, planned and methodical approach to work – all those are essential qualities if you’re striving for a success. Back then, wanting to stand shoulder to shoulder with my husband to overcome those troubled times, I started making cakes. I had a baby and there was no electricity, no gas, no heating, no nothing… That is how we all remember the 90s. I started doing what I could do best. My mother’s a fantastic, renowned confectioner. As a teenager, I would watch her fascinated all the time as she was working and also became very fond of it. That was my thing to do so I also started making cakes and pies. With a baby in one hand and a tray in another, I was carrying cakes down to Izo’s grocery. That’s how it started. Sometime later my son/daughter used to help me, he/she would take cakes to the grocery. I brought up my son/daughter so that he/she now knows the value of a labour and that you have to work hard for wealth and prosperity. Later I’ve decided to choose one line and I’ve been only making cakes since then. Often to 4 am. I started doing this still as a teacher. As I became a headmaster, my mother told me: “You hold a position now. Aren’t you going to quit making cakes?” to which I replied that this was a job I’m fond of and I’m good at it. I’m quite capable of combining these two things and do not think of it as any kind of a problem to merge baking with my primary occupation.

I keep doing things I love to date. Grateful customers and grateful parents are who I draw my strength from – proof that I’m on a right path and have a right vision.

I make all kinds of cakes and try to be creative, to be responsive to present market.

As for how I managed to keep up with everything, at first it was a bit complicated, but careful planning helps a lot. I have everything – every second planned in advance. The most important thing is that if I don’t like the cake, I won’t let a customer take it; I’ll change it, I’ll make it again, but it has to be the best. They often tell me to quit my job at school and open my own confectionery, that in doing so I’m going to earn more. Yet I can’t. I had to fight a lot for both of my jobs, I’ve done a great deal and can’t quit either of them now.

Even these days, there are gender stereotypes according to which a strong hand of a man is best to run schools; But we don’t have a boxing ring here where physical strength is more important than mental agility. Here, leadership skills merged with professionalism are the most important thing. If you want something, you’re going to achieve it. You just need to fight for it, work hard, be single-minded – this is the only genuine and continuous way to success.

Author: Nino Gamisonia
Photo credit: Nino Baidauri

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