So, this already strong and fighter teenager decided, without anyone’s help, to become a student independently and study only if nobody had to spend a single penny for my education. And that’s exactly how it happened. I forced the school teachers to really conduct the lessons well because everyone else was preparing for exams with private teachers. I wasn’t doing it consciously. I became a student with the best scores, with full funding. It was one big step toward independence. From here started a much interesting part of my life – a new chapter, big and interesting connections, I found people who have the same values as I do, and most important – I discovered, that I was not alone. I realized that I had to choose a profession focused on helping people. At first, I was planning to study psychology, then I became interested in social work, and thanks to this I found myself where I most wanted to be. I’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to protect children and taking care of them to avoid the pains I was familiar with. By doing so, I seemed to be compensating for my own loss and gave meaning and importance to my own experience. It’s a little bit selfish, but not in a bad way.

Later we, a few like-minded people, set up a Crime Prevention Center and we continued to run programs from there. Already under the new government, we’ve set up a team and program to help released prisoners to return back to society. We worked with Tea Tsulukiani for a year. We constantly had to fight to keep the most important initiatives prioritized, as was the plan. The main conflict appeared when I was asked to hire people from election activists at the Mediation House and I refused. Later, the director of the center was unfairly fired and Tsulukiani’s chief of staff got the position. Tsulukiani declared a personal vendetta to me and Tazo. We were harassed for a month to leave our positions ourselves, but we chose to fight for it. Before we were fired, we made any updates public and then continued our five-year war in court. We won all three instances, we prepared the lawsuit ourselves, questioned the witnesses ourselves, and forced them to confirm Tsulukiani’s actions in court, which wasn’t really comfortable for them. It was torture for us for a long time until we won the case, but we endured everything because we were right and had each other. We have been disobedient, public servants loyal to our principles from day one. We were fortunate to be together in doing an amazingly great job and then win an unprecedented battle.

The post Ana Subeliani, 31 years old, Tbilisi appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

,,On 23rd of March, after the government statement, the first thing I did I called all of my non-Georgian-speaking relatives and explained all details of security rules, against the Coronavirus. On the same night, I was contacted by the City Hall and until 5 AM, I was translating information about the virus for the Azerbaijan Community.

Information in our community is spreading fast. Here people think collectively and they provide information accurate and detailed, individual interpretations or disobedience are out of the question. Obviously, I wouldn’t say that before the announcement of the Prime Minister, people of Marneuli didn’t know about the existence of Coronavirus. Presumably, they would have heard about it from the Azerbaijan channels. To make it clear, they didn’t have detailed information for a better understanding of the danger to take the pandemic seriously. Often, lack of language knowledge and unavailability of information channels is a barrier for the people.

Let’s even remember the first infected patient, whom I know personally. That woman has been battling many diseases for a very long time and has so many symptoms, that she couldn’t even imagine, that she would be infected with such a virus. If she would have known recommendations about the symptoms, which are now reported on every channel in every 5 minutes, she would definitely have paid attention and notified earlier.

The next day after the quarantine was announced, everybody was in a panic: they came out and went to the street to ask each other what was happening. That’s the only place for these people to get information. Many villages in Marneuli don’t have internet or Georgian channels, as the wiring is not available in some places. Those of us who know Georgian, we are spreading information on a daily basis.

I’m one of the Azerbaijan youth who speaks Georgian fluently. In Addition, with the language barrier, there is also the trust issue in the community: People who know the Georgian language are mostly young people, which are either students or officially employed. It is often, that the older generation doesn’t trust the youth, and the information they are getting from them, needs to be verified. I must also mention, that hate towards Azerbaijan community put us into a state of constant attack and the need for self-defense. This is one of the reasons, why the spread of the information about the Coronavirus was taken more of a provocation than a real threat.

The reality we have seen from our side is that we are constantly fighting against xenophobic hatred. Are we being criticized only for not knowing the Georgian language alone?! Aggression has often lead to the fact that we get an education in Georgian and consider Georgia as our homeland. We have been living here for centuries, we are working here and we should not have to proof, that we also love Georgian culture and Georgia itself.

There have been taken serious steps in the region to learn the Georgian language. However, only the youth who have material resources have this benefit, since living and studying in Tbilisi is not easy. In recent years, more and more girls from Marneuli are going to have higher education and this is due to the improvement of informal education and awareness-raising. When young people have role models, they are more motivated to develop themselves and imitate others. But we have a difficult situation for the older generation. They didn’t have school education in Georgian and neither have access to programs, as I said, only privileged strata can get into this.

As a result of the state of emergency in Marneuli, many people were left without income. Moreover, women are in an especially difficult situation, single mothers, who were considered as self-employed. In Marneuli, the daily income of many women is directly linked to restaurants and ritual services. In addition to the daily 20 GEL receiving from cleaning and washing dishes, they also could bring leftovers home. Now women employed in this way stay at home for an uncertain period of time and have no idea how to survive.

Also, old women are in a difficult situation, who live alone and they don’t have anyone who could take care of them in these emergency conditions to help them and supply the food. They are left with the only hope of citizens: we are collecting donations and we are going to distribute them 2 weeks of food supplies to reduce their need to go outside as much as possible. For these elderly women, going to the store was the only way to socialize.

Many women in our community have lost their freedom. Do you know what I mean? The workplace was an opportunity for women to go outside. Also, even when housewives were left at home alone, without men, this period was a time for them to relax and to take care of themselves. Now women have to work hard in the family, in addition when all of the family members are at home. Imagine how long their task list is!

We do understand, that government cannot help everyone during this crisis, but I think that the minimum social assistance scheme needs to be revised.
There are also expectations, that the number of violent cases will be increased. And the worst – here people have the least trust by the police and the Public Defender. But I must also say, that there is a willingness within the community to help the state and to stay calm.’’

Author: Maiko Chitaia
Photo: Shalala Amirjanova / Geda Darchia
Translation: Mariam Kajrishvili

The post Shalala Amirjanova, Marneuli appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

From my perspective, the work that my parents put in me for years, I transferred to my own family. I became a typical housewife with a few hobbies and Natia, who had her profession, has disappeared after some time. What’s really weird is that the situation seemed totally normal and right to me. I tried to get back to my profession, but because my desire caused tensions in my family, I decided not to. At the same time, I saw how my husband was fully developed professionally and personally and my accomplishments seemed to be nothing compared to his.

One day I “woke up” and realized, that I couldn’t continue like this. That’s when the problems started. It turned out to be really difficult to manage time in a way as to give everybody enough attention. I didn’t handle it very well, and it caused a lot of arguments between me and my husband. I think the development of women in Georgia, consciously or not, causes a lot of protest in men, as if their egos are getting bruised. Finally, after a lot of fights and arguments, we decided to start everything over and moved to a new house. At first, our attempt seemed to be working well. After a while, we had to move to my mother- and sister-in-law, where my husband’s weakness came to light – he was his mother’s boy, which is usual for Georgian men. It was not obvious while we were living together. I can’t say they didn’t have my family’s best interests at heart, but others intervening definitely affected our relationship adversely.

later when I moved back to my parents, I found out I was pregnant. Because of that, we tried one more time to live together, but other things started to happen. The very next day after hearing our child’s heartbeat, my husband had a car crash. He survived, but he was in poor health. My pregnancy wasn’t a cakewalk either – late in my pregnancy I was reading my husband’s messages to another woman, which caused me to give birth 36 weeks earlier.

After the divorce, I had a choice – falling in a depression, or standing on my feet and becoming the best. My brother, who lived in a foreign country for 14 years, returned to Georgia to stand by me and tried to share and use his multi-year experience and knowledge to help me. He wanted me to get my lost time back and put it into my profession. We started our own architectural company. At first, we were putting all of our revenues back into the company to grow. We were meeting clients at home, then opened our own office, which turned out surprisingly good. Each new stage was a new challenge, which I had to overcome with countless hours of work. Step by step we expanded, customers were flooding our gates and I can say with certainty, that we established one of the best studios.

It follows from my story, which is a lot longer than said above, that I want to tell all the women and their families, that overcoming difficulties together will make you stronger. A woman can be independent and strong too, have her own private life and professional ambitions. The main thing is to be able to fight for our goals.

Author: Nino Gamisonia

Photo: Sopho Aptsiauri

Translation: Mariam Kajrishvili

The post Natia Lekveishvili, 29 years old appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

May 9
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I was brought up in a kind of family where, you know, they told me at the age of 5 that all I was told about Stalin and Lenin in the nursery was a lie and we didn’t speak of them in our family since these two had never done anything good for Georgia. They also told me that we, Georgian, had much better historical figures which I could be proud of. And my grandfather, participant in the WWII having received a fair amount of awards, didn’t use to be proud of having fought in the war and had never worn those medals. Everyone around me reckoned so, so it seemed to me that all the others thought the same way. In those days, people used to avoid speaking about these things so openly because of the political views of the government at that time. It was after political changes when discussions about restoring Stalin statue resumed, and eventually, photographs of Stalin also appeared in kiosks and hotels.

Unluckily, it seems the destiny of the town (Gori) has been shaped by the fact of Stalin being born here. This is why Stalinists from all around the country come here in Gori every year, where, they say, their love to Stalin flourishes most. May 9, 2015, was, however, shocking and depressing to me and it woke some of us up. Imagine, lots of people from different regions of Georgia waving flags of SSSR and Russia. Meanwhile, an American flag was burning with the cries in the background demanding to restore Stalin’s statue. Now it was a burning question if there is anybody left in the town who’s going to raise voice against it in protest?! I remember, there were two weeks left until May 9, 2016. We knew they were going to hold annual march again. So, we started our arrangements having agreed on the most important thing: to avoid entering into conflict with them at all costs.

We decided not to hold a counter rally but to celebrate Europe Days starting from May 8. We’ve been already campaigning for three years now under a major slogan “We decide on progress”. On the first day, we bring schoolchildren from different schools throughout the occupation line who attend the discussion on totalitarianism, liberty and democracy. We try to provide them with actual knowledge of what the Soviet past really was. We also arrange their meetings with EU mission representatives giving them talk about what European Union has been doing for this country and why they are patrolling where these young people live. We believe that willing to win this battle, we should start with children education as children are only ones who can bring this knowledge to their families.

On the second day, that is, May 9th, when Stalinists get marching, we hold a lecture on totalitarianism at Gori University. While they are marching, we together with students discuss the importance of liberty and what the Soviet Union has brought to our country.

The same day, in the evening, we hold a rally-concert at the main town square inviting our supporter bands to play. We, of course, have nothing against veterans who feel nostalgic and admire Stalin. Victory over fascism is unquestionably the great historical event; however, we reckon 21st century is more the era of progress and development. Therefore, waving red and Russian flags on the town square which Russian planes were bombing merely 10 years ago, and when more than 20 percent of your country is occupied by Russia, is very humiliating. This country has been punished for striving for freedom and progress. We must understand that.

Stalin statue
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Debates about putting back Stalin statue began in 2015; it’s been lobbied by Gorelebi (People of Gori) – the group of local businessmen and influential people. They appealed to the city council and demanded to restore the monument where it originally stood. Meeting at the city council was appointed on October 2, so we started writing letters and informing various organisations. And on the previous day, we had a meeting with the deputies. We tried to explain that the decision of the kind was going to harm the country’s reputation, which was striving for democratic values. I remember, at the session, one of the businessmen jogging the mayor’s memory that they’ve supported him because he promised to restore the monument. They made it clear that he’s going to lose their support unless he keeps his promise. It was shocking to hear some businessman talking to your town mayor in that tone of voice telling him why they’ve supported his arrival to the power. The scene at the session was also curious; There were five of us – all girls – sitting at one side of the table protesting against restoring Stalin statue, and telling them this decision will be considered a crime in the 21st century and that it’s unacceptable erecting dictators’ statues.

And at the other side of the table, there were big, influential men sitting and throwing insults at us like “Be you a boy, I’d take you out and beat the pants off you”, or “What on earth you look like”, “Couldn’t dye your hair better?”, “Go, wash your face” etc. They got also irritated by the fact that we confronted them. Their attitude was “Who are you and what have you done so far?!”. While debating, we were relying on Charter of Liberty approved by the parliament in 2011. Charter says unambiguously that there mustn’t be totalitarian and fascist symbols in the country and left ones must be removed. At that meeting, the question of returning the monument failed.

Guerrilla activism
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“One of the main streets in Gori still bears the name of Stalin. And it may be the most disgraceful and cynical that Stalin street crosses the one of Ilia Chavchavadze’s.

We started writing letters to the prime minister, parliament and other institutions with the request to rename the main street in Gori. Charter of Liberty should come into force, yet the Charter council haven’t assembled to date, so the issue remains open. But we’re not going to give up and every now and then remind them of it.

We tried guerrilla activism too. For instance, one night we went to Stalin street and covered every house number sign with ones with Maro Maqashvili name on them. We wanted people living here to wake up on Maro Maqashvili street next morning. The following day, news spread in media that activists renamed Stalin street although nobody knew there were those 5 activist girls behind it, who had left anonymous inscriptions “This street was bombed by RUSSIA” on pavements on 7th August too. Afterwards, there were loads of negative and insulting comments in social media such as “Who the hell are you”, “Stalin was a great man and who are you, little squirts?” etc. In real life, we haven’t faced more serious attacks. I guess they reckon we are nothing – too unimportant for them to pay attention. Therefore, the main street in Gori will always bear Stalin’s name, and 5 girls couldn’t do a thing against wealthy and influential men.

Our major aim is to start a discussion about the street name. Of course, we do like the idea of Maro Maqashvili street, but the main thing is it shouldn’t bear Stalin’s name, but some other Georgian’s, be it Machabeli, Vazha-Pshavela, Rustaveli or Iakob Gogebashvili. We can think it over and make a decision together. Although we already call it Maro Maqashvili street and often say we are on Makashvili street. In fact, we try people to accept that it isn’t Stalin street, and in a near future, it can be given Maro’s or some another Georgian’s name.
Apart from changing the street name, we want Stalin museum conception to transform. Now, they describe Stalin as a hero in the museum. I remember traveling with two Slovak girls some two months ago. They told me they weren’t going to visit Stalin museum as they’ve heard from their friends that Stalin is referred to as a hero there. As they were against it, the girls weren’t going there. It was very unpleasant to hear that.

All activities I’ve mentioned above are planned and executed by our group of 5 girls. We work entirely on a voluntary basis having no profit of it. Of course, organizing those activities requires certain expenses, so we appeal to different organisations, and ask if they can help us. Some of them give us flags, some print rally T-shirts and the others give concert equipment.

I can’t tell we’re witnessing fundamental changes so far, but the anti-Russian and anti-Soviet movement has started, so I believe we’ll eventually get the results.

Russia
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I live next to the military base in Gori. I remember, I was 7 and my mother asked me to take a jacket to my brother, who was at his friend’s in the neighbourhood. I took shortcut walking along the military base wall. Suddenly, I heard shooting and saw some boys running towards me. One of them was a neighbour of mine – Zaza Kakashvili. He was 16 back then. As he was running, a sneaker slipped off from his foot. Having returned to collect it, he was shot dead by a Russian soldier. 7-year-old girl, I was witnessing all these. Later, when they were telling I survived miraculously after red bullets had been flying right above my head, I wished them to shut up. But in my heart, I was answering the bullets were yellow, not red. I don’t know why, but I felt somewhat ashamed. Desperately wishing to forget, I actually could hide all these in the depth of my memory and recalled only when Otkhozoria was killed. Perhaps, my protest to Russia flows from that too. That is why I get distressed and angry every time when Georgians talk about Russia and SSSR with affection – Soviet Union, which made us lose our identity and wiped our history off. I want everyone to know that there is no value important than independence. My PhD thesis, which I’m working on now, is also dedicated to this issue – Borderization and Creeping Occupation in 21st Century.

Author: Ida Bakhturidze
Photo credit: Sopho Aphtsiauri

The post Teona Phankvelashvili, 34-years-old, Gori appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

“My share anger before being a feminist

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People often reproach us feminists, that we are a “group of angry women” and in this way they try to demonize our anger like it’s hysterical and irrational. In reality, feminist anger might be the most legitimate anger, because all women have personal experience of oppression in patriarchy. and some of these women have our way, or our share of anger before being feminists.

Oppression and violence start in early childhood for women, in their own families. Also for women like me. At times it was hurtful for me to realize that even in a family, where supporting wishes and education supposedly should have been the same priority for all three children, parents never told the story of the birth of me or of my sister. just like that, we haven’t heard what was happening in the hospital, how they brought us home, whether or not there was a big celebration feast and what was it like in family in general. In contrary, they would tell the story of my brother’s birth frequently. it was a long story about the most important and happy occasion of our family, with some humour additions. for example, how one of my dad’s friend stepped his foot in front of the other friend to get to be the first one to tell my dad the news of the birth of “The Hair”. Of course, all this was followed by one week celebration, during which, the child was praised with the name, given by my father and his friends. they didn’t know yet, that grandpa saw his grandpa in his dream that night and this is how the name was decided, without my mom, or my dad, who was celebrating at the time, knowing it. the most important thing is, the men are the main characters of this story, starting from the newborn, finishing with older ones, or the other way around. Mother, sisters and other women are either not part of this story, or in a secondary role.

I realized it a bit later, but there were some stories in my deep childhood, which I remember vividly and they are related to my feminist anger. I couldn’t explain why I could remember a phrase that I heard when I was 6 years old: I was playing with my sister outside. my dad was on the balcony, with my mom standing beside him. The conversation was tense and they were whispering. But from time to time they were forgetting themselves and raising voice. I wasn’t playing anymore. I was listening to them and I heard my mom saying – “What if it’s a girl again?!…”. I probably didn’t understand much then, but I really started thinking about the differences between sexes and started questioning “why?”.

A couple of months ago after that occasion, they brought my newborn brother home. I already knew and expected that he would be “different” from me and my sister. But after they took him out of his rags in front of all the relatives on a dining table, I realised he wasn’t just different but also “better”(!). I got the answer to my question “why”, when the grown-ups applauded him with different jokes and praises. This is when I realised, being only seven years old that the main “shortcoming” of me and my sister was simply being a girl. This is when I developed the first feminist anger.

I have been angry a lot of times, as a woman. But not like the 7 years old insulted girl, who couldn’t say anything then, or during years afterward, I can raise my voice about it now. I am telling this story now, for other parents and relatives to think about it. maybe they will think about it and not turn the birth/existence of brothers to a traumatic experience, intentionally or not.

the most important turnout in the history of women’s movement happened when women got angry and united. Right to education, right to vote, political and civil rights of women were obtained by angry feminists. Feminist anger is the power of women, which can change the reality to better. This is why patriarchy is so afraid of our anger and trying to belittle us every time we get angry because of silencing, killing and violence against us, especially if we try to express it.”

Author: Ida Bakhturidze
Photo: Salome Tsopurishvili

The post Ida Bakhturidze, 32, Akhmeta appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

“I am a graphic designer by profession and I’m also a street artist. I’ve admired this way of painting since childhood. My first experience with street art was in my first year at The Academy of Arts. There was a contest held between universities and I took part in it. That was the first time I held spray paint in my hand. I liked this process so much that I gradually started studying and practicing on my own. When I first started painting, there were no good spray paints available – only the low-quality ones which cost 3 lari. Plus, I knew nothing about the painting techniques specific to this movement. You only improve your technique with experience. Finally, this activity became my hobby and a source of income.

Protest

I generally paint in many different directions: ideologically, technically, with materials. I have projects related to social issues and they are absolutely independent, created out of my own will. I also have commercial orders which I do according to the requests of the clients. I think that street art and art, in general, should echo social issues / problems. Much of my work has played a vital role in politics, culture, etc. A street artist has certain obligations in this matter; their art should be expressing protest as well as having its own meaning and importance.
In my case, there are specific topics which I try to echo. For example, I made a painting about decriminalization on the Marjanishvili street called “I don’t want to pee”. Also regarding the 17th of May, when activists decided to paint near the patriarchate and got very bad feedback. If it had happened anywhere else, it wouldn’t have got such a response from the state. The police acted as a defender of the patriarchate and the activists got oppressed yet again. Their arrest inspired me to make a painting on the wall depicting a priest and a policeman making out. This may have been a cause of irritation for many but I said what I had to say in my own way. I created the painting at around 1-2 am. I woke up between 6-7 am to go there and take photos of my work but it had already been erased. I knew they would erase it on the same day but I didn’t expect such a quick reaction.

Attitudes

I’ve been hearing these words since childhood: “Stop scribbling and read instead!” There is an obsession about reading in my family. You should always have a book in your hands and read continuously. They could see I always had a pencil in my hand, drawing – so they had a different attitude towards me. They were afraid that I wouldn’t be able to support myself after enrolling in an art school. Both the society and my family thought that it would be hard for a painter to earn her own living. Finally, when I got into art school I got a score of 92 in painting and I got both a funding and a scholarship. The first thing my father said to me after that was to paint more.
The attitude of the public is almost always positive. Everyone who has worked with me while painting or was in touch with me had a positive attitude. At first, they don’t get what I am doing or what I am “ruining” but then they like it. They see that you work hard and they appreciate that.
As for the competition, there is more competition between street artists in big cities than here; like who’s involved in more projects, who provides better products, who gets chosen, etc. There is competition here as well but it’s very healthy. We help each other, try to promote and establish the culture of street art.

The Trace

I take part in competitions on a regular basis. A 3-day festival, one of the biggest ones, was held in Kharkov. I went to that festival with the support of the city hall. I created and presented a project on the Georgian alphabet. It was liked both here and there. They were really happy that it was not only a beautiful painting but also had a Georgian theme. This work received a very positive feedback. I always try to leave a small trace of myself in every country I visit. My paintings in Georgia are mostly in Tbilisi and Batumi, also Kutaisi and Akhaltsikhe.
I always try to follow wall painting and take this activity more seriously. I want to have my own workshop. Apart from painting, I also do handmade jewelry and I want to open my own workshop to work in many different directions and make time for small projects as well.

Author: Nino Gamisonia
Photo: Salome Tsopurashvili
Translation: Ani Gogberashvili

The post Musya Keburia, 26, Tbilisi appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

Many of my family members are seamen, including my father, my brother and my uncles. My dad has not served on a ship ever since the death of my uncles caused by the sinking of the ship Memed Abashidze. Growing up, I always dreamed of embarking on an epic sailing journey. The idea of traveling around the world and visiting foreign countries always fascinated me. Besides, working as a sailor is one of the highest paid jobs, yet the field is mainly dominated by men. I thought to myself: why can’t I take that opportunity, too?
So I decided to pursue sailing.

In the vessel management faculty of the maritime academy I was the only female among 121 students, showing up for every morning formation properly dressed in a uniform. I remember a lot of people pointing their fingers at me – filled with astonishment and disapproval of a girl who chose to pursue a path of a sailor. Female sailors are so uncommon that the sailor’s uniform only fits men, implying that dresses do not belong here. One time my English lecturer told me: “You are a nice girl, a talented student, but there’s no doubt that 4 years from now, once you complete your studies, you will rather get married and find a job in your hometown, Batumi.”

In exactly 4 years I was chosen amongst 6 most successful students for an interview with Columbia – a marine agency – that was looking for new employees – sea cadets – for the upcoming international trip. I passed the test successfully but one of the East European examiners told me: “You will be rejected because of your gender. You are a woman”.

I was terribly upset even though it did not affect my determination to continue fighting till the end. I managed to fully demonstrate my knowledge in the next stage of the selection, during a Skype interview. Surprisingly, one of the interviewers was a female employee of the agency. 15 minutes after the interview was over, I received a phone call from the agency congratulating me on getting the new job on their ship.

That was the first successful fight I had won against the cultural and social restrictions set for women. My high qualifications and my knowledge in the field of navigation has also been proven by the fact that I was chosen as a staff member for a nautical vessel with a width of 365 meters and with a height of 68 meters, loaded with up to 14,000 units of shipping containers filled with new cars. This was a huge responsibility.

I remember a book I read when I was a student called Sea and Four Daughters”. Sadly, most people don’t even know that the first sailor from Georgia achieving a high-grade marine position in the beginning of the 20th century (even though she was not able to claim the Captain’s title) was a woman from Batumi named Julia Phailodze. By some extraordinary coincidence Julia lived in the same house as I do, and worked in the same library where I found the book that inspires me so much. Certain barriers kept Julia from reaching the Captain’s position. After exactly a century, here I am, the second Georgian female sailor, eventually to become the first female Sea Captain from my country.

I worked as a cadet for the first six months and was the only female member of the crew. Usually, after 6 months of service sailors prefer to return to their homes, since it is so hard to deal with the deep sentiments arising in an open sea. However, I decided to prolong my contract for up to 8 months. This would give me the chance to grow professionally and to apply for the position of a 3rd assistant to the Captain. I would be able to work on my self-esteem and realize that I was able to handle challenging tasks independently. The Captain, curious about my decision, approached me and asked whether I was completely sure about staying on the ship for additional 2 months. I had already made up my mind.

Several months later I was actually promoted and was I managing the ship’s manoeuvre from its bridge independently as a 3rd officer. Now I’m mostly responsible for the ship’s safety management and technical maintenance. In the evenings when everyone is resting I’m in charge of the ship’s manoeuvre from the sea cabin. Once, one of my fellow Ukrainian sailors confessed to me that he began praying for survival the night after he saw that I, a 22-year-old young woman, was in charge of the ship’s navigation.

Even though the crew members of the ships I serve on are mostly from Europe and have worked with fellow female sailors, I still have to deal with gender stereotypes. For example, once my male colleagues made a bet that I would get sick during a storm and would not be able to eat food. Guess what actually happened – they got sick and I ate a double portion.

Gender stereotypes in Georgia are even worse. People believe that a sailor’s job is not only inappropriate for a woman, but women in general belong in the kitchen. I was on a ship when I first read the Facebook comments on a post about me. I was being criticized. By whom? Mostly women! That was very devastating for me but I decided not to respond to any of the negative feedback. I believe that I perform very effectively in my job, and that serving on a ship is equally safe or unsafe for women and men, especially during storms. I care for my career advancements and the improvement of my financial state. My family and friends are highly supportive of me, so the criticism is just a matter of underdevelopment.

The sad thing is that I have already been celebrating holidays like my birthday or New Year on the ship for three years now. Sailors are leading the ship in the silence while everyone’s having fun ashore. But you get used to it. Now I’m 24 years old and I think I don’t have time to complain. I’ll definitely become a sea Captain one day.”

Author: Maiko Chitaia
The Women of Georgia project gives a special thanks to Mamuka Chkhikvadze for taking photos and for his support for the project.
Translation: Natia Kuprava

The post Natia Labadze, 24 years old, from Batumi appeared first on WomenOfGeorgia.

The caring women of the first Children’s Hospice
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“If now at night near the forest, at the spring or by the street, above the bushes you see blinking fireflies, you should know that they are still looking for their beautiful queen and can’t find her” – “Salamura’s Adventure”
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Manana:
“It’s been 5 months since the opening of the Children’s First Hospice. ‘Hospice’ is a Latin word. Originally it meant a house of rest for passengers coming from afar. In modern medicine a hospice is a place where terminal patients are kept temporarily. Our hospice is for children. Here we create conditions that ease their pain and instead of feeling marginalized from the public, they feel happy, they feel like members of the community until the very last minutes of their lives.

“The Country of Fireflies” – that’s how we named our hospice and it is entirely inspired by the fairy tale of Salamura – the shepherd of ladybugs – and Baia – the beautiful shepherd of fireflies. Fireflies shine at night and disappear during the day. The life of our kids resembles that of fireflies’. They are so strong that they can light a fire at night, in the dark. From the outside it seems as though their world is depressing, unbearable, and hard to watch. But each one of these children are so strong that they teach us this strength as well.”

Tamar:
“The children’s hospice is unique because we are not only helping children with pain management and with leaving this world properly, but we are also helping their parents. The main caregivers of these children at home are mothers who are chained to their children for 24 hours and have no time left for their own recreation. There’s a false belief that once a woman becomes a mother, she can endure anything and her resources are inexhaustible. Every person needs a break, some personal space to gain strength. We give parents the opportunity to leave their children with us for a few days, in a place where they will be cared for. And the parents can use this time for themselves.’

Manana:
“I’m always ready for the moment when they ask me, ‘What’s going to happen now?’ I can’t lie to them and say that there’s nothing wrong with them and that they will soon get better. So I have my answer ready – ‘Don’t be afraid! Everything will be alright.’ And you know what? I really believe that everything will be alright because our life doesn’t end in this world. It continues to shine like a firefly.”

Tamar:
“Unfortunately, our job sometimes requires us to lie. We call such lies ‘safe lies’. A question needs an answer. If the question concerns an irrational moment that no one knows anything about, such as death, the answer should be convincing. We believe in what we want to believe. ‘Will I get well?’ a 17-year-old Irakli asked me once. ‘Yes’ I answered. I apologized to Irakli a bit later when he was no longer with us. It’s never too late to say sorry.”

Manana:
“It is difficult for us to say goodbye to these children. We spend most of our time with them and we not only provide professional palliative care but we also share our emotions with them. The reason why we can keep working after each loss is because the sadness that stays with us turns into love, becomes part of our body, and fills us with new energy.”

Tamar:
“One of the problems in the medical field in our country is the improper delivery of a diagnosis to the patient. According to the Human Rights Convention, each person at every age has the right to know their own diagnosis and their future perspectives. In Georgia everything is determined by the culture, not the convention. According to our culture, someone is always taking responsibility for your life. Unfortunately, the majority of the medical staff has no experience of informing the patient about his/her diagnosis. Telling the truth requires the right environment, the right timing, and of course the right words. Every word needs to be well thought through before saying it out loud. Human emotions are often followed by tragic experiences, this is an inevitable part of our lives, but one can still minimize the harm by explaining everything to the parent first and then talking to the child in an appropriate language.

I remember the story of 10-year-old Zuka’s expected death. I remember how well his parents explained to Zuka’s siblings that Zuka would leave them and would continue to live without them. We also celebrated Ako’s birthday 5 days before he passed and thus we turned his last days into a celebration.

Manana:
At the Hospice all the caregivers are women. Only the driver and the director are male. Being a nurse is considered to be a female profession because culturally it is thought that only a woman can be a caregiver. However, I have to say that the fathers of our children are also actively involved in their children’s care.
Neither I nor Tamar have children of our own. People often say to me, at least have a child and you’ll have a caregiver when you’re old.’ This kind of attitude is totally unacceptable to me. If you have children, you have to raise them to be independent individuals rather than raise them selfishly, for your own good.

Tamar:
Yes, the desire to have a child and the love towards your child should be unselfish. You should also be able to give them a right to decide for themselves. A woman’s primary purpose is not having a child. A woman has the desire and the right to do many other important things. I think the field that I’m in is a good example of doing selfless work. The most important thing is not to lose love for the work that you dedicate yourself to.

Author: Maiko Chitia
Photo: Salome Tsopurashvili
Translation: Keke Kaikhosroshvili

(Author’s note: The Children’s Hospice was built in October 2015 with the help of Open Society Georgia. The hospice has multiple donors, private companies and individuals alike. The Country of Fireflies is still waiting for new donations).

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Solitude
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I was 38 years old when I decided to have Natia. As a woman in love, who could afford to live independently, I made the decision to raise my daughter alone without a father with full awareness of the responsibility. I announced my decision to my cousin. She had an unmarried sister-in-law, who had failed to go against her parents’ will: she broke up with a loved one and did not dare to have a child. That’s why she decided to bury her regret in her solidarity with me and stand beside me.

Together they both went to my father to tell him the news. At the time, along with my parents, I had two brothers. They all decided that they did not even want my name mentioned in the house. It took my father 12 years to forgive me for having a child. It’s a strange thing, women are criticized for not having children, and they are criticized for having them… Nowadays being a single mother does not seem to be the subject of as much criticism, people have adopted a more tolerant attitude. But in those days it was a very bold move.

I moved to Tbilisi to live with my cousin. I had built up some savings to cover the hospitalization expenses myself. My heart ached when I saw visitors of the other women at the maternity hospital. Only two women visited me. Those were sorrowful days”.

Downfall of love
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Natia’s father refused to give the child his surname. This was his way of declaring that he didn’t acknowledge her as his daughter. After Natia’s birth, I managed to recover and forget about my love in a few months. I mean, not only the love that I felt for him but I buried the feeling of love in general. I didn’t want this feeling to hurt me anymore. It was hard for me to endure this pain”.

12 years of Solitude
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It took my father 12 years to forgive me for giving birth to a child. By that time I had received a one-room apartment in Telavi from my employers. A few months after I was discharged from the maternity hospital my father wrote a letter: “she can return to Telavi. Nobody can prevent her from returning to her apartment, but she cannot return to us.” For 12 years I raised Natia alone. Every now and then my mother would help us in secret. However, I never felt parental care and forgiveness. Then, I thought about it and told myself that by all means, I would prove to everyone that since I took this step, since I took full responsibility for it and since they did not forgive me for this decision, I would be strong, I would raise a decent person and they would accept me as a much stronger person than I was before Natia’s birth. Years passed and slowly my father forgot his resentment. He even used to come by and take Natia out for a walk. This happened after 12 years, but before that I was all alone, living my life by myself.”

Postwoman’s bag
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“Natia’s teenage years coincided with politically complicated processes. I always stood on my own feet, I worked as a chief engineer at a sewing factory in Telavi, I was financially strong and independent. The instability of the 90s brought unemployment. Natia needed a lot of things – education, outfit, nutrition, entertainment. It was difficult to leave a top management position, but I had to do it for my daughter. I made a promise to myself to give my child a good education. That’s why I agreed to the first job that came by. I put a postman’s bag over my shoulder and started delivering letters in Telavi. I remember when Natia became a student and moved to Tbilisi I used to ask Marshrutka drivers to deliver 5-7 Laris to her so that she could support herself in the capital. I carried the postman’s bag for 10 years. I couldn’t do it anymore”.

Empowerment
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Natia grew up a fighter like me. The energy and the will to fight that I put in her was not lost. She achieved everything on her own and became the founder of one of the most renowned websites – Soplidan.ge. She is successfully running her business. Time heals all wounds. Now I teach three subjects about my specialty at a Telavi vocational school. I am an active member of the self-government. Telavi is the only city where all the members of the council are male. So with other women I try to actively keep track of the city budget and to direct spending in the right direction. Currently I am the chairman of the residential block partnership. This year we managed to make them create co-financing funds in the city budget and renovated the entrances of 7 blocks. In general, nepotism is widespread in Georgia and in order to able to better control spending we are planning to establish an association of chairmen of partnerships which would monitor the city budget. Yes, I have thought about running for office, but I cannot become affiliated with a party because I think it is difficult for everyone to talk in one voice. On the other hand, an independent candidate needs financial resources. Therefore, I will remain an active citizen and will do my job from this position”.

Author: Maiko Chitaia
Photo by Nino Baidauri
Translation: Khatuna Gvelesiani

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